Thinking Hard To Overcome Nervousness

by Johnny Unicorn

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    On classic compact disc in a retro-LP style gatefold jacket. A double album on one disc.

    Can ship starting June 24th, 2011!

    Includes unlimited streaming of Thinking Hard To Overcome Nervousness via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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This double-length album uses a mixture of comedy and jarring juxtapositions of musical styles as a way to reveal, through sound, the frailty of human existence, the folly of infatuation disguised as love, the terrible price of humanity's quest for domination, and the freedom of letting go. Listen to it from start to finish on compact disc for maximum effect.

It is Johnny Unicorn's fifth album.


released June 21, 2011

Featuring the following guest musicians:
Naomi Adele - vocal on 12, bass synth on 3
Matt Clifford - double bass on 4
Jennifer Collier - vocal on 4
Rogelio G Garcia - drums on 3, 6 and 8
Alex Hamel - drums on 4 and 10
Jhole Jackson - drums on 12
Bea Miller - flute on 12
Davy "Defos" Nefos - drums on 11
Corey Eno Ruffin - tenor sax, baritone sax and contra alto clarinet on 10
Brian Woodbury - spoken word on 7
Phideaux Xavier - vocal on 4
Lauren Zeck - clarinet on 12

And the following audience members:
Anna Boiko-Weyrauch
Ryan Rufener
Kristen Stewart
Michael Trew

All other instruments by Johnny Unicorn

All songs recorded, mixed and mastered by Johnny Unicorn, except "The Earth, the Moon" and "Meat On the Table" recorded and mixed by Alex Hamel.



all rights reserved
Track Name: Break Out!
There is an evil that's inside of you
Only comes out once in a while
On a first date or at an interview
Wedding reception or a trial
Messages sent to your sebaceous glands
Increase oil production to your pores
When they get clogged, unsightly pimples form
Leaving you with a face that isn't yours

Everytime you have to show your face in public
You break out

You search for answers on the internet
But nothing you find can help you cope
You go to the local dermatologist
He tells you that there is still some hope
You write a check for half your bank account
He writes a prescription for some soap

Everytime you want to make a good impression
You break out
No matter if you clean or scrub or cut your hair
You still break out

Sometimes you break out
Maybe it's a curse
Squeazing them only makes it worse
If you want someone important to take an interest
In what you're all about
Well you know that you'll break out
Track Name: I Can't Believe It's Christmas
I can't believe it's Christmas again
I can't believe it's Christmas
What am I going to do?
I love you!

I'm gonna send you a present in the mail
Just as long as I can find that thing on sale
Track Name: Aware Of the Bear
They say it is a jungle
But I have seen no green
They call it civilization,
But I don't know what they mean
The buildings, they surround me
Just like iron bars
I cannot hear the crickets
And I cannot see the stars
I feel like a machine
When I should feel like a man
I want to get out of this city
Just as fast as I can

There's a rainbow that will lead us to the mountain
And the rainbow seems to say "hello, there"
But as we gaze up at the summit
That extends into the clouds
We are unaware of the bear

I see country open up
Before me like a book
So I head off for the mountain
Just so I can have a look
And when I get there I climb up
Past the treeline to the snow
And I look down at the beauty
Spreading out far below
And I feel like I am king
And I feel like singing songs
And I can't believe I've waited
For so long

There's a rainbow that will lead us to the mountain
And the rainbow seems to say "hello, there"
But as we gaze out at the country
That extends beyond our reach
We are unaware of the bear
We are unaware of the bear
But the bear can smell our scent in the air
And although we have been told
To beware, to beware
We are unaware of the bear

My father told me, "one day, son
You will become a man;
but not before you're eaten up"
I guess that's just god's plan

Well, I had reached the peak
And no higher could I climb
There was no greater love
That a man like me could find
But we were not the only ones
To have ever gone this way
The bear was closing in now
On its unsuspecting prey

I screamed out in anguish
As the bear bit down on me
My eyes ran red with blood
Until I could no longer see
I could not hear the crickets
And I could not see the stars
I only felt a longing for the
Concrete and the cars
But I know I can't go back again
To the way I was before, but that's okay
Because I know that after death
There's so much more

There's a rainbow that will lead us to the mountain
And the rainbow seems to say "hello, there"
But as I gaze into the eyes of forever
I will be aware of the bear
I will be aware of the bear
Oh yes, I will be aware of the bear
Track Name: The Earth, the Moon
It is so hard, it's unimportant: the distance
(It is all because of our time together)
Will you see me when we return from heaven?
(We will see, in time, what our fates will bring)

How many missions must I complete before you love me?
And how, on Earth, can I compete for your affection?
Those strange positions that we explored forever haunt me
We found each other. You can't ignore cosmic connection

I have seen the Earth and the Moon together
I have seen the Earth and the Moon together
I have seen the Earth and the Moon together
I have seen love
Track Name: Muffin Mitten
Why is everybody afraid of the orgasm?
Everybody has 'em except for a few people
Who hide under a pew, under a steeple
Why do they think a creep'll do what a deep sleep'll do?
Morning dew

Morning do be fantastic
If that creep's plastic face had more ass-kick
He's stiff as a board, bored stiff
And often slippin' off in a coffin within a muffin mitten

But never admitting anything of substance
It's just an inch
But he'll take a meter
Pumpkin eater
Pumpkin eater
Track Name: A Letter From the Patriarchy
How can it be that your mother is older than your father?
Well the question they ask is telling about their culture
But who am I to judge what they believe about the role of a woman and a man
In their family, when I, too, subscribe to the same old plan:
That a man can do whatever he can,
and a woman's just a mutated man?

I cannot see beyond my mechanical inventions
And I cannot feel beneath my maniacal intentions
But "who am I?" you ask, when you're a mess
That's when we take matters into our hands
We can make you crack under the stress
And then we'll always have a place to stand
On your face, you in the palm of our hands
Maybe some day you'll understand
That you gotta take it like a man
But you're never gonna be a man
Track Name: White Man Red Hand
I cross the ocean to the curb
And I take the things that I think I deserve
I never look backward to the sea
Because I am here to get mine for me

The white man says "go"
The red hand says "stop"

My big strong hand reaches deep into the ground
Where gold and silver, coal and oil can be found
My carbon nanotube neck stretches high into the sky
Where spacecraft and weather balloons and jet airliners fly
But don't you worry, I've got a place for you to go
To the desert, and to the graveyard, to where the rivers never flow

The white man says "go"
The red hand says "stop"
Track Name: Fields Of Wheat
Clear out the fields of wheat
So we can build an empire of milk and meat
No room for nature's will
We can let them live or we can kill them slowly

Beneath the hands of fate, we see the face of horror
We can't believe the ways we lied
And I've got no pride

Take me to somewhere sweet
Where daffodils will frown underneath my feet
Take me away from this
I will stare deep into your eyes or kiss you slowly

Beneath the hands of me, we see the face of failure
I will remove them from your eyes
You whisper in my ear, we see my face grow paler
I will remove myself from you
And that's what we're gonna do
That's what we're gonna do
Track Name: Meat On the Table
There's meat on the table
That's as much as I needed to know
And there's meat on the table
That's all that I need before I get up and go

Frankles had a beef with the diver
Who put his foot down
Reef ashore Venezuela
Or was it Australia?
Oh, what can I tell ya?
That beef ended up on the floor

There's death in the ocean
Like a cookie in the mind of a child
There's meat in the ocean
That's all that I need before I get up and go again
"Get up and go" he said

Frankie wrangled him up, by his ankles he dragged him
I don't know how
He must have weighed 300 pounds
But Frankie had a strong diaphrag-m
He rode the diver [down]

He rode the poor diver just like an old raft
And he tied on his saxophones and blew his way across the ocean
Using only the following sounds

Blow, Frankie, blow

A taste of kindness
That's all that I need to have meant
Meat on the table
That's all that I needed before I got up and went
Meat on the table

Proud of his victory
Settled on distant shores
In a sunny foreign land
The meat runs deep within his blood
The meat runs
Track Name: The Final American Dream
The peel of the paint
The smell of the vinyl
The mold of the floor
The pieces of foam
The screech of the belt
The rattle of plastic
The creak of the door
I know I am home

This is where I sleep (my car)
This is where I dream (in my car)
Take a look outside (driveway)
Won't you take a ride (in my car)

The quivering night
Receives without protest
The rumbling flight
Of my Corsican beast
I chase down my dreams
With passion and fervor
But dreams are cut short
When it shudders and stalls

Why did I ever dream of owning that ridiculous machine?
Track Name: Don't Wait

We ran away from what we were doing
We saw the shimmer of stars through the myst
In a haze of hope we set a course for a distant world
Across the vast expanses to the unknown

"Don't let them see me
Don't let them know I am here"

"Look, up ahead! There is a gleam"
And patterns of lines; they must be like us
We brace ourselves as we come in for landing
We swing the door open; their world we are shown

Here is my home now
I can be everything
Don't let them see me, if they do
I will be filled with fear



In the shadow of the future
I crumbled to my knees
I rose to brush the dust away
And saw the motes afloat toward the door

From the doorway of a building
The sound of stunted songs
I chose to throw my cares away
mmm mmm mmm mmm mmmmm

Sickly specks of prickly light
Deflect my second sight
So we sauntered to the street
Soon I would retreat


A:Let me go
Please let me go
To a place that I have known before
B:Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Please don't make me close the door on you
A:Let me go
Please I must go
There's something I must do to make me better
B:Don't let me go
Don't let me go
It's better than we ever could have hoped for
B:We don't know
We don't know
Our brains can even fit inside our heads
A:I don't know
I don't know
My heart is taking blood right from my brain

Touch me
B:touch me
A+B:It might be the last time...

A: Don't wait for an answer
Don't wait for the answer
B:Won't hold my breath in Minnesota
A:Wait for the answer
Don't wait for an answer
B:Hold my breath and drown in soda
Please don't make me
A:Don't wait for an answer
B:I'll wait for the moment
A:We'll wait for the moment
We'll wait for the...
B:We'll wait for the moment
To touch California
My hope will never (A+B) leave

B:Say goodbye
Say goodbye
Perhaps the future will be not as stupid

Say goodbye
To Californ
Soon I will see the oran-ge of Minnesota

Say goodbye
Let it end
A:This might be the last time


This is not my home
I'm driven to change
I follow the fates where they summon me
when will they summon me home?